Peer Review:
Logline:
'Without us... how would you cope?
Would we be boring? Would we have imagination and creativity? Would we have knowledge on things that we have now? .... Would we, have awareness?'
Callum. B - "I would be intrigued if I were to read this on Netflix."
Nicole. L - "Take a question out to shorten logline.
(Peer Review)
Adaptation:
'Without the entertainment industry, how would you cope?
Would we be boring? Would we have imagination and creativity?
...
Would we have our escape from reality and freedom that all music, films and books give to us?'
Once receiving peer review for my new logline, one of my peers had stated that the word 'would' has been over used.
I decided to not adapt to this feedback as I didn't agree with this statement. I believe that emphasising the word 'would' encourages the reader/audience to think about the alternatives.
Andy. M - "Be more precise on topic as I got lost in the middle."
Alex. G - "I like the use of rhetorical questions. It reminds me of Blue Planet with David Attenborough."
Polished Idea:
(adaptation)
Added sticky notes to final ideas are to show the peer review in which I have adapted from.